**babies and life after IF mentioned**
I have this ‘fertile’ Mom friend who is this odd trigger for me. She often does and says things that seem to make all the old feelings of IF return. She is a first time Mom of a baby around my son’s age and nice and sweet enough but her attitude towards being a Mom ( through no real fault of her own) makes me irate and brings back all the old feelings from IF.
She is one of those women who has had a pretty cushy and easy go at life and motherhood seems to overwhelm her and crimp her style. She often complains of the lack of ‘me’ time, the old days of dates every night with her husband and sleeping in. These complaints could not be any less respected by me. A Mom who had to claw, fight and swim through so many tears for the privilege of not sleeping in and the gift of nights at home with my precious baby and husband.
I met up with her today and she looked upset and sad. I won’t go into details but she launched into a long complaint about how her baby won’t sleep for any naps longer than an hour. These short naps mean she can’t watch a full movie or do other activities she wants to do while he is sleeping. Then said, we will have our next baby in six months so they can be two years apart and I am stressed about how to even deal with all the lack of sleep with another one.
Seriously? She knows my infertility story, she knows I of course would love to just ‘decide to have our next baby’ and she thinks I am the person to talk to about this? I know so many women who would give anything for her ‘problem’. I am currently downing any supplement, on a strict diet and avoiding alcohol for months before I once again go through the process of hope, fear, injections, hormones and a drained bank account.
In this moment of conversation I just wanted to tell her what I really thought. I wanted to tell her of all the women who this month alone learned once again they are not pregnant after years of trying. To tell her that her easy, cushy life did not prepare her for the absolute luxury of having a baby to hold. To tell her that her lack of gratitude makes me so angry and her cavalier attitude towards another baby makes me despise her. I wanted to tell her that she is selfish and spoiled. Of course I didn’t. I changed the subject and ended the play date early.
I just don’t understand the unfairness of IF. I feel like so often the most beautiful, selfless and deserving women struggle, while others less deserving ( in my very unqualified and judgy opinion) have it so easy.
Just had to vent. I will now return to just being so grateful and feeling so fortunate and wishing so very deeply that my blog friends here have good news this cycle and finally get the gift they deserve.