I just finished one of three egg banking cycles and still waiting immune testing results. Meanwhile, since I know it will be at the minimum many months until I can possibly be pregnant again, I have decided to live it up. I have found that there is such power in changing my mindset, changing my focus and changing the timeline in my head.
So in between egg banking cycles I am having a responsible but enjoyable amount of wine and coffee, doing fun things with my friends and husband, visiting my family, going for long jogs and even planned a fun trip to Nashville in July. I have stopped thinking about this time as just time I have to get through until I can get pregnant and instead have decided it is a gift to be enjoyed. Having only one child who is over 2 years old, goes to bed early and is very well behaved means my husband and I can enjoy each other in the evenings and take turns giving each other ‘me’ time on the weekend. Once I stopped thinking about this time as ‘the time I am still not pregnant’ and instead ‘the time I have my precious family of three’ my entire outlook had improved.
I must admit that when I am in the middle of the hormones and caffeine withdrawal headaches, I can fall into a funk or feel disappointed and frustrated but it doesn’t last long. I know how lucky I am to have my miracle toddler and I hold tight to that gratitude. I want a sibling for him so badly, but I don’t want to lose sight of how truly fortunate I am to have him.
I just want to say that for those of you still waiting for your baby, still childless and yearning- I think of you so often. I know the huge hurdle it is to cross over into just being called Mom. I admire your strength and fortitude and ability to keep moving forward and keep holding out hope. When I was going through my primary fertility battle, I barely held it together. I feel like sometimes I come across as eternally strong and optimistic in my blog but I want you to know I am this way because I think the secondary battle is so different than the true torture of primary fertility. If you can find good days, good moments than you are doing awesome.
Xo
Fighting Infertility 
Your compassion and understanding is second to none. As always you inspire me. And yet today i want to take a moment to remind you that while you do have one amazing son, a little one that you are clearly so grateful to have, you are still allowed bad days. The hurt and anguish that comes along with infertility regardless of being primary or secondary is never fun.
All thats said, i love your approach to living it up! Have some fun and cherish those happy moments! ☺❤
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Thank you my friend. I will remember your words on my bad days. You inspire me!
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I’m so glad you’re out enjoying life and not just waiting for pregnancy. It’s truly a difficult thing to do and I wish could have been like that. Continue enjoying yourself! And good luck with the mini IVF and immune testing. I hope it is going/goes smoothly!
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Thank you! I hope I can keep feeling this way. I am anxious about the immune stuff but I guess knowledge is power :). Xo
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So lovely to read an update from you. You sound in a really great headspace. I agree that secondary infertility is a different ball game to primary. I think primary must be another kind of hell altogether and my heart goes out to anyone experiencing it. I hope all went well with this banking cycle and that you are enjoying those indulgent times where you get to be “normal” inbetween. I miss wine!
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Thank you for your support along the way. I think of you and your story often to keep me hopeful. Xoxo
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Well done getting through the banking cycles, that’s a great achievement. Am glad you have some good coping strategies for the ‘waiting’ time. I hope the testing goes well and gives you some good information to help you with treatment options. xx
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Thank you! You are right it is no easy feat. I just try to think of it as a job. This last time I still had one cup of coffee a day and actually got the most eggs so far. Remains to be seen if they made normal embryos but makes me feel like being less strict about caffeine during the stims which to me is the hardest part. Thank you for your support!
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Great to read your update! Well done on getting through your first banking cycle. I am so glad you are able to escape from the stress of this journey for now and that you are enjoying your time out. Your sincere empathy towards others is always from the heart and means a lot. Stay strong! xx
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I’m really glad you’re doing so well. I hope the immune results come back well and that you are able to enjoy the downtime. I went to Nashville once! It was weird! I remember the 24hr Waffle House… It was so strange and amazing to us from the UK! Have a brilliant time on your downtime. Sending you lots of love! X
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Thank you! I love it when I log onto WordPress and see a blog from you. They are always so thoughtful, educational and beautifully written. I love country music and live music and Nashville is the place to be for both!
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I truly appreciate that no matter how sad you may be for your own personal situation that you always have the heart to recognize others who would do anything to simply have one child. So many secondary infertility bloggers do not recognize that so it is appreciated so much. Love ya girly and cheering you on Mamajo! Cheers to more successful banking cycles!! I’ll be living it up with you! xoxo
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Thank you lovely! Just seeing your name pop up on my phone fills me with excitement for you! Xo
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Love your way of thinking during these months of no treatment. Enjoy every moment.
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That cup of caffeine or glass of wine is sometimes just want you need to make all the hard stuff just slightly easier to take. Thank you for always recognizing and empathizing with those of still in the trenches. It’s always nice to be remind that those that have crossed over to Motherhood remember what it’s like to be on this side of things. That being said…I love how much you appreciate being a Mom and love hearing about it. I so hope and pray that you get give your kiddo a sibling!!!
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Oh that is so sweet. It really is sprig fervent the second go around. Thank you as always for your comment and support. Hope you are enjoying the new daycare space!
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Ah it’s great to hear from you! I think about you all the time. I’m so glad you are living it up and enjoying life. Lots of wine, husband time and me times sounds wonderful.
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And congrats on making it through a banking cycle — you’re 1/3 of the way done!
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Thank you! Are you getting excited to see baby girl?? Xoxo
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This is so uplifting Mama! You’ve done so well to change your mind set as I know how hard it is to “snap out” of feeling a certain way. You’ll be so thankful later down the line that you enjoyed this time with your hubby and little one 🙂 Make the most of the next few months and do the things that make you happy. Good luck!x x x
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Thank you for such a positive and supportive comment. Life is so much better when we even just try to have a positive outlook. Xoxo
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I’ve been thinking about you! So glad to see your update in my feed today 🙂 You always inspire me how your life continues to flourish despite the fight against the infertility monster. You live with no regrets even in tough times. Congrats on one cycle under your belt and hope you are feeling well! xo
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Thank you so much! Your words gave me such a boost this morning! Xo
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Wonderful to hear from you as always! I love your outlook, I’m trying to approach my cycle the same way. Enjoy this time. And well done on the first banking cycle! xx
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