My early miscarriage is officially over and I am now healing my body ( read having wine and coffee but also exercising) in preparation for surgery. The mind is truly an amazing thing. I have somehow tricked my brain into feeling hopeful and excited for surgery and like I am getting closer to my much desired little one.

It’s strange- you would think that after losing a pregnancy and facing surgery and more IVF I would feel discouraged but I don’t. I feel encouraged. These last two years were one IVF failure or early miscarriage after another with no end in sight. I feel like we have finally reached the point where we have a new plan up ahead and are open to new strategies. If surgery doesn’t  reveal bad endo we will move to egg donor and if it reveals endo we will try one or two more cycles (depending on the outcome) then move to donor. I am so ready to get off this IVF purgatory train and move forward with my incredibly fortunate life.

I feel energized in this journey and am trying to soak up our little family of three in preparation for the future. I am open to any path that completes our little family so we can finally move on. I cannot wait for a life that does not include pumping myself full of drugs, a bruised belly and heart, drained wallet, endless doctor’s appointments and that terrible feeling of being stagnant.

I feel so lucky for my miracle son. Every failure just illustrates how much of a miracle he is. There are so many ladies just praying and waiting for a child to make them a Mom. It is truly the biggest hurdle in this IF/RPL fight. I will never lose sight of my fortune. My heart is with those of you waiting and praying and hoping for this hurdle to be crossed.

xo

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