I am on the books for surgery next Friday. I found a top robotic surgeon ( she uses the daVinci surgical robot where I used to be a sales executive and believe strongly in the technology). I am relieved to have it scheduled so soon since it can usually be a few months wait. I am also a little bit emotional about it. I can’t pinpoint exactly why but I think it is a combination of fear that they will find nothing and fear that they will find too much endo.

But, alas- that fear will be answered in less than a week. For those of you that have had a laparoscopy/ or endo surgery I would love to know how recovery was. My main question is how many days after surgery can I hold my toddler. He is very attached to me and also very heavy. The fact that I won’t be able to be the kind of Mom I always am is the only reason I am hesitant about surgery. I have promised myself from the moment he was miraculously born ( I know now how truly against the odds his arrival really is) that I won’t compromise his happiness in the pursuit of a sibling.

I also recognize that this dilemma about being a good Mom to my miracle boy is one that I am so fortunate to have. I know so many people would want this problem- want so badly to have a child in their arms. As I have said before- secondary infertility is a rough road but nothing like primary infertility.

Lots of love to you all and appreciate any insight!