Hi guys, me again. As I sit here watching the Olympics and recovering I have had plenty of time for some pondering and musings. Thought I would share 🙂
One- it is amazing how hard situations bring needed perspective. My time in the hospital and having surgery made me so grateful for my health. That overshadows the disappointment with a lack of diagnosis.
Two- I am so happy I have turned the corner from shame in my infertility to pride in the battle I fight. This has made me so much more open to sharing my struggles. I like to think it has helped others suffering in silence or those unaware of how they might be hurting people who are fighting this battle.
Three- I am slowly getting my head wrapped around this possible egg donor path. I have always said and truly felt that I am not focused on my own genetic link but just want to have a family and children to love. However the next soul is meant to join our family will be a miracle and the right way. But let me tell you- searching for a donor is crazy. It brings to light the parts of me I am proud of and am looking for and really pulls to the surface a lot of questions about what matters to my husband and I and how complex the process of picking one will be. More on this when the time comes.
Four- that being said, I have already emailed our RE to tell him surgery is done and we are ready to move to our final own egg cycle when I get my next period. No rest for the motivated.
Five: Wow do I have the greatest family. My little sister came to the hospital with me because since I was going under anesthesia I had an irrational fear of death and wanted my husband to be with my son. My little sis was so great, funny and just perfect. My Mom has been this blanket of support and absolute perfection and is coming up to see me tomorrow! My husband has completely stepped up and I love hearing he and my son giggle and play while I am holed up in our room recovering. My twin sis texts and calls me right when I need to hear her. Crazy twintuition. I feel so fortunate to have the support I do and have extra admiration and love for those of you who don’t have the support you deserve and need.
Six: I find myself thinking of you all often. Those of you with miracles in your arms and bellies and those of you still waiting and hoping and pushing and fighting. I want you to know your success is mine as well and your pain I share deeply. Lots of love!