I know how tough this time of year can be for so many. It is either yet another milestone that passes without dreams fulfilled, trigger central with all the hallmark family ads, can be tough to face questions from hopefully well meaning family etc. Top it off with the cute family Christmas cards you may have been dreaming of doing forever that flood in. Phew. It can be a land mine. I have a couple of suggestions/ thoughts to help you get through.
1. Take care of yourself. It is ok to skip a party or retire early if the conversations get hard. Your mental well being can be just as important as your physical through all this. Sometimes we need to just curl up in bed with Netflix and forget the world around us. That is ok. The ones that love you will understand. If they don’t- let them worry about it.
2. At the same time socializing can be good. It can be distracting and fun and remind you that you are a fun and fearless lady with an identity and a life, not just a gal desperately trying to have a family. Try to plan activities that remind you of this. Fierce ice skater when you were young? Go skating! Hot red dress that hasn’t seen outside your closet in a while? Plan a date! Amazing at trivia? Hit up the local bar for trivia night. You get the idea. You are more than this quest for a baby. You are a unique and special person so remind yourself of that.
3. Celebrate the year’s end. If this has been a particularly rough year, guess what? A whole new start is coming. Focus on that fresh beginning. Plan new and exciting things to do next year. Whether it be a new path for a baby or a new health plan or even a new vacation. 2017 will be a new year. It will be your year. Believe it and plan for it.
4. Focus outside yourself. I run a program called ‘spread the joy’ that brings gifts to folks in retirement homes who may not have a visitor or any kind of Christmas joy otherwise. Not only do I love the idea of making those disenfranchised in our society feel loved, it is also amazing perspective. Hearing their stories reminds me that life is short and even if today might not look exactly how I wanted or planned- I am fortunate for my relative youth and health and so many other things.
Thinking of all of you during this holiday season. Sending all my love for an amazing 2017.