It’s all still so unreal to me that I am here, actually ‘P’ with a miracle so many years and failures and losses later. It doesn’t feel like unbridled joy or elation. It just feels like deep gratitude and relief to my core every day that passes.
We had our anatomy ultrasound this morning and I laid there, eyes closed, body tense trying to just breath and have faith while the technician moved the wand around and walked us through everything. Although we genetically tested the embryo, did all the first tri- screening, and even used a donor egg I was nervous. When you get handed so much bad news over and over, you are consistently braced for it. I know I don’t have to tell you all that.
But, miraculously it was all ok and baby girl(!!) is growing healthy. I just don’t know what I did to deserve such fortune right now. People may see a ‘poor infertile lady who suffered 10 IVf failures and three losses and is now carrying a baby from another woman’s egg’. I just feel like the luckiest woman on earth. The road here feels like it all fades away. The fears are etched in the form of hidden worries, the pain is carved in the form of deeper empathy and the naive joy is masked by past reality. But yet the road behind me feels like a blur. Like a faded dirt road full of curves and dips that just simply got me to today. This moment of hope and gratitude.
theskyandback said:
Oooooh I have the chills reading this. HEALTHY BABY GIRL! Hell yeah! Such amazing news. God bless the broken road. Love you and love this blessed baby GIRL!
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mamajo23 said:
Love you too and so inspired by you and your girls!!
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My Perfect Breakdown said:
A baby girl?! I am beyond thrilled and happy for you!! The road sure hasn’t been easy, but gosh the gratitude I feel that you are carrying an healthy baby girl right now is immense! Did I mention I’m thrilled for you?!
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mamajo23 said:
Thank you friend! You have been my endless support and life line ❤️
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RJ said:
Woo hoo!! Congrats on your beautiful baby girl! I am beyond thrilled for you and your family!
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mamajo23 said:
Thank you so much. My spirit and attitude is strengthened because of you and your blog.
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Amy M. said:
Congrats!! So excited that things are going well, and that you’re having a little girl! So happy for you 😀
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mamajo23 said:
Thank you so much!
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Surviving Infertility said:
Congrats on your healthy baby girl
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Isabelle said:
Isn’t it such a relief to have good news? I am so incredibly happy for you that things are going well with your baby girl. Hope that everything will continue to be smooth sailing until you meet her face to face.
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mamajo23 said:
Thank you lovely
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Nara said:
How wonderful. A miracle baby girl to be a little sister to your miracle boy!
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mamajo23 said:
A true gift. Thank you!
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Pamela J said:
Aaaaah, so exciting! The dream — a healthy boy and a healthy girl! So delighted for you!
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Pamela J said:
I’m sure it’s true that the road behind blurs when the dearest hope and desire is finally granted. Alas, the road is still crystal clear while you are on it, with no relief in sight. But if I can learn to live well on this empty* road, hopefully I’ll be that much more grateful and happy if I am ever granted the privilege of becoming a parent.
And believe me, I see you as nothing but a very lucky woman 🙂
*It’s not really empty, of course — life is always a banquet. But as my husband put it: “The main course is missing.”
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mamajo23 said:
Your writing is so beautiful. I so look forward to your main course- somehow/ /someway. Xo
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LG&LG said:
Well said. And congrats on baby girl!
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mamajo23 said:
Thank you ☺️
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30yr old nothing said:
Ahh!! A little girl! This warms my heart so much. I’m so thrilled for you!
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ourgreatestdesire said:
Woohoo!!!! I am so excited for you and we’ll both have baby girls! Yay!!!! The grace in which you handle your life with just amazes and continually inspires me! Love ya!
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mamajo23 said:
Thank you! Your love for your baby girl and grace and approach to life has inspired me too. Lots of love to you.
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